Leaf Blowers, Scourge Upon Humanity

It is written in my baby book that even as an infant I disliked people who spoke loudly. In 50 years, my strongly negative attitude toward noise pollution has only intensified. Most of my strongest pet peeves relate to noise pollution. For example, when I think back to living in an apartment in Los Angeles, as I did during my clinical psychology internship, the two primery aversive memories that stay with me are being repeatedly assaulted by the cacophany of leaf blowers and car alarms. Each one cries out in its own way, "My convenience and satisfaction are more important than yours." The gardener at work in the early morning hours wakes multiple apartment dwellers and their pets with each pass. At least if he were vacuuming the leaves and debris up into a mulch bag, he might be performing a useful service. Instead, he is clearing his own flower bed or sidewalk and moving the mess to the communal curbside, so that the gardener at the adjacent apartment complex can blow it back a few days later. For this we need to be awakened?

Anti-theft car alarms are another pet peeve of mine--again an unpleasant memory of Los Angeles living. Now, far be it from me to discourage someone from using a security device to guard his or her own vehicle from thieves. Indeed, using an effective device reduces insurance premiums for the rest of us. Even the occasional accidental activation of an alarm is understandable. But why must a driver with normal vision and hearing require that the alarm signal its activation with a piercing beep? Anyone who fails to disengage the auditory signal is thumbing his or her nose at those of us who cherish civilized living. I don't care if you set your car alarm. Do you think that you look cool aiming your key at the car and clicking your key as if it were a TV remote? Is the beep to alert us so that we may admire you and your car? Spare me--I really don't care.

And finally a word to the videots and media addicts among us: Why do you presume to know what I want to hear blaring on your boombox, car radio, or television? Whether it is your boombox ruining my sunbathing time at the pool, your car radio's bass shaking my home and car as you drive by, or the obnoxious chatter of your televised screaming sportscaster or obscenely exaggerated cartoon character voice booming from your television when I visit you, or--even worse--when I am in a nearby room and still can't escape the noise, you are a vile, putrid polluter, and your taste sucks. Please do the world a favor and buy yourself an mp3 player, an iPod, or some earphones. Thank you and please have a nice day.